I often battle with the impression that I would be of more value in the eyes of my fellow sojourners if I were more successful by worldly standards.
Just a couple of days ago I mentioned to friends how I’d always wished I had the skills to draw. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be a world-renowned artist? When I was young I tried to draw with pencil and was able to do some very simple circle drawings that resembled bunnies and kitties but to go much beyond that took a lot more imagination than even I had to decipher what showed up on a piece of paper. Art classes were offered to me in junior high school for the first time in my life and the embarrassment of my efforts there nearly drove me away from school with the unique experiences of being introduced to less than stellar grades. Okay, so I learned that art was not my God-given gift but that didn’t mean I was without other valuable talents.
Homemaking is a skill I could and did excel at but if you look at 25th and 50th Anniversary write-ups and obituaries, homemaking skills fall last in the long line of achievements of couples or persons, if mentioned at all. They certainly do not include, “She worked at whatever job she could find while helping him get his college degree,” or “She made a home and helped them develop new friendships as they moved multiple times in a few years.” In the world today I am conditioned to hear the question fall from lips filled with disdain, “How is that rated on the success scale?”
I like to write and I plan to do so regardless of any disparaging critics with the subtle yet unspoken push given from time to time that says, “Unless you publish something and are making $$$, your writing is not worth the time it takes for me to read it.” That being presented to me several times over might as well be, “You are not very valuable until you are a published author. When the world says you are important then I can look up to you and loudly and proudly proclaim I know you well.”
Thankfully God does not look at me through worldly eyes nor judge me by such standards. He helped me with my drawing…it was good enough to entertain little children sitting beside me in church. He helped me realize that I was not created to excel at everything I tried or wanted to try…there’s simply not enough time in life to live through that many experiments and experiences! He gave me skills to fulfill my heart’s deepest desires from childhood…to be a wife and mother. Now I write and who knows what from my pen is already circulating that may someday be noticed, published, and bring about my worldly success that seems so important to some people? And, yes, I would like to have writing success but that would not change my value except, sadly, in the eyes of the world. Until then…if then…and even after…I’ll value God because He keeps showing me what is of real value.
“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” Matthew 6:19-21 (NLT)
© Marilyn Sue (Libby) Moore 7-20-09
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